mystery biscuitery

poooof!! and there they are...
the christmas biscuits, causing a drama
who brought them to us?
was it a llama?

how do we know that santa wasn't here?
there was no mince pie though, we're
not really like that in this office
have no fear

maybe we should just
eat them all up
then we wont have to think about
anything at all

Consumed

what have you done?
a shadow of chaos as memories twist.
once we tasted heaven,
open and innocent,
but your heart soured.
a dark pool of blood -
tears follow rain, follow pain,
love condemned.
in a haze of hate,
i condemn you.

1000 lifetimes

1000 lifetimes have fallen to the earth upon which they whither and die.
but one seeds and springs forth a new breed of worth.
but there are no pies to be seen.

A further ode to pi(e)

surprise surprise,
your evil eyes
have gazed upon my splendid pies.

those worldly-wise,
compartmentalise,
the evil in those splendid pies.

by adolf cakehole and betsy craghopper

A Pie earlier today:

It's 6 weeks since the printer fell on the printer repair man's head. I wonder, does he know its the anniversary? Should we call him? Send a card? The date must be marked. The event must be remembered.

I bet he still thinks about it. Every day. It was the lowlight of his printer repairing career.

Stuck on the floor under a Lexmark X500 series is a lonely place to be on a Friday afternoon.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=is-HVxmUELQ

a hunting we will go,
a hunting we will go.

how big can they be?
as big as me?

or you.

Big Chip, big chip

with dip, with dip?

Maybe gravy, maybe barm, but definitely s & v...

Big Chip, big chip

with a sip, with a sip,

of Champagne... hic...

oh sunshine.

oh sunshine - are you mine?
oh sunshine - are you divine?

who begat thy yellow face?
it is ace.

oh sunshine - svelte-like swine,
mocking with thy yellow line.

dancing through the trees.
the sunshine make-believes.

when saturday comes

to the left of my shadow lies the darkness. to the right of the darkness lies my way. it is not saturday yet but one day it will have been.


Sprach Zarathustra Cakehole

trees lampost hills my house

i do inta web

Your internet is wise.
Your internet is everywhere.
Your internet is watching.
Your home button will not take you home.
Cry into your keyboard.

Toto, Toto, where art thine photo?
.... I have longed for thee so meekly,
and I do it so sweetly,
I am squealing,
I am reeling,
I have a feeling
.... we're not in Kansas anymore

How art thine tea?

Where is my tea? My cup of tea that stretches the day-long intersection into the dream world, forming an abyss that is more manageable to my own fallible heart? i prefer coffee anyway.

An ode to pie

Pie, oh my, how you can lie, you made me want to cry, yesterday.
But now, I can die, happy, with a sigh, because pie, oh my, bye bye.
Yum Yum

Piemen

Anticipation,
Excitement,
Chatter, chatter, chatter
Of the day was pie

My,
Oh why,
Has my pie,
….got gristle in it?

The Price of Pie

Pie costs one moment of panic and three minutes of nausea.

oh pie, forsaken pie.

Poor little scarecrow standing in the field

Nobody to talk to

Nobody to play with

He wears a red hat

And a big old blue mac

A tatty purple jumper

And two patches on his trousers

16th October 1987

masterSHOUT

Greg Wallace. Honorary Condor

" I'd happily bury my face in that"

" That's the kind of pudding a man would leave his wife for"

"Beefy, beefy mushrooms. [breathy voice of appreciation] Ah yea..."

"Cooking... DOESN'T get tougher like this."

Freedom

How can we be free?

Our behavior is confined within the remits of the ego. The ego is confined by the stimuli that surround it. Ergo, behavior is nothing but a simple effect based on a cause and we, even as condors, have no ability to control it in any manner. No free will.



Thus spoke condor cakehole.

Flagging

Rhabdophobia- Fear of being severely punished or beaten by a rod, or of being severely criticized. Also fear of magic.(wand)

From the other side of yesterday came the omen of death;
the haunting cry of the common loon

The song of the North woods rang out and men fled from its magical message…

Solidarity Issues

Without solidarity there is no love and without love there is no future



Thus spoke condor.

news just in

On the steps of Condor Towers just 2 hours ago, The Condors' press secretary issued the following statement, believed to be written by Adolf Cakehole:

"In reaction to my recent comments i am sorry for what transpired above. Not only was my oversight in spelling Betsy Craghopper's name a massive breach of confidence between the founding members of the group currently known as 'The Condors', the subsequent use of condor policy in refusing to issue an apology was contrary to the principals of the group. for both of these indescretions i unreservedly apologise."

Further details regarding the reason for the apology are not known at this time.

Editor's note: The Condors' motto is 'we're not sorry'

The sparks continue to fly as one of the founding members suggested an alternative to the initiation process would be simply to allow founding members the facility to yell at new members. In response to this, the second founding member decided to ignore this debate and forward the idea of a racing pig (pictured below) as the new Condor mascot.



Neither of the feuding condors were sorry at the time of writing.

Breaking news

Debate is raging at Condor Towers over an ancient law about rites of passage for members; specifically founding members. Traditionally founding members are exempt from this initiation (which is always themed around new member’s life or interests); however, reports of unrest within Condor Towers early this morning seem to point towards Guardian reading over the weekend … more to follow…

Editor’s note: At present there are only two members...

then i'm back in a hole,
got nowhere to go,
people tell me i got no soul.

i spend my time hoping for more
when i'm going to war
don't you know that i know the score.

we're not sorry on raspberry hill.

we're not sorry. we're not sorry. we are more rare than a beige corvair.

And someone’s burning out on Condor Ave Trying to make a whisper out of you

What a shitty thing to say Did you really mean it? You never said a word to me about what passed between us So now I’m leaving you alone You can do whatever the hell you want to

I'm not sorry for the drinks I drunk. I'm not sorry for the thinks I thunk. I'm not sorry if I have to stare. I'm not sorry, and I don't care.

This is the essence of our vision for a darker tomorrow...

...word.